Finding the right support for you

During my training I went through four different counsellors before I found the right person for me at that point in time; I stayed with them for six years, I have since worked with three other counsellors for different pieces of work. It can take time and a lot of effort to find the right fit which is why starting the process of finding a counsellor can feel very intimidating.

Keywords are a great place to start, if what you are seeking support for is very specific then adding those to your search will bring up counsellors who should have experience of helping with that. For example if you put in LGBTQ+ counselling there is a high chance you will see my pages come up. Sometimes counsellors pages will come up as well as they may have some experience of your keyword, but try to look for specifics in their writing that say they specialise in it.

There can be some confusion over theoretical approaches, for example, how many times have you seen a paragraph that says “I am Psychodynamic” or “My approach is Person-Centred” without actually explaining what that means. Different approaches will affect the therapy, if you are looking for some very directive therapy then Person-Centred may not be for you, as that is usually mostly client led. If you are wanting to look into things that happened in the past Psychodynamic may be more appropriate than Gestalt as Gestalt deals more so with the here and now. Integrative (which is my approach), or Eclectic therapists should have training in multiple approaches and so their therapeutic offering will be multifaceted. The length of the work can also be part of your search, some counsellors only offer short term therapy, others offer open ended, meaning there is no limit to the amount of sessions you can have with them.

Counsellors should be non-judgemental, but as a client you need to be sure that you can open up to the person you pick, so some judgement will inevitably play a part; this mostly comes in assessing the counsellors picture on their profile/website. Would you be comfortable exploring what you need to with this person? Does their gender expression matter to you? Sometimes it is in what they write on their profile, do the words resonate with you? Do you feel you could form a trusting connection with them? Cost also comes into it; do you need a concessionary rate? Are you easily able to pay their full rate? Some counsellors offer a sliding scale, some put this on their profile, some do not. Counselling is an investment in yourself, and usually people do not train to be counsellors for the money as it is a very expensive profession. (We do it for the love of helping people, but we also have bills to pay just like everyone else.)

First sessions are usually very information heavy, but with that you can still feel what it is like to be in the room with them or what it’s like working online with them. Each counsellor will feel different so even if you have introductory sessions with a few counsellors you will get a gauge of who feels right for you. Some counsellors offer initial free introductory phone calls or email correspondence, this is not for therapy but to discuss how the counsellor works and what the client is looking for.

Over time your needs for counselling may change, and depending on the counsellors experience and competencies you may need to find a different person, or that counsellor may be able to refer you to someone else who has more knowledge on what you need support with. For example, you may do some inner child work with one counsellor for a few years, then perhaps you are late diagnosed with a neurodivergence, such as ADHD, that that counsellor does not have experience/competency in working with, so you may want to find someone different to do that work with. It can feel like starting all over again with someone new but if the work you have already done has been good then that will inform the work you do next.

Something to ponder: Is it easier to narrow things down with what you know you do not want from counselling?